We found out this afternoon that our rent check bounced. That was embarrassing, but I was definitely not surprised. I already mailed next month's and I now have to send another check plus a bounced check fee. And one or both of those checks run the risk of bouncing. One could go through but the other isn't like unless she waits until the next payday to deposit it. My face is heating up just thinking of it.

God keeps telling us to trust Him, that He is going to provide a job for my husband, but for the moment we have a lesson to learn. A lesson about humility and tough times because things will be much better for us in the future. That's all good, but it's getting so tight and I'm really getting scared. For November a lot of bills are getting skipped. I'm paying rent, both school loans, Internet, insurance and phone. All the credit cards are getting skipped. All equals four plus another line of credit that may as well be a credit card. I've been mentally preparing myself for the inevitable phone calls that will be coming.

I suppose now that I'm not paying those, rent will be less of a problem. As a matter of fact, I wish I would have skipped those for October as well.

First of all I have to say that I'm trying not to be bothered by the fact that no one is reading this. It is giving me a place to vent, but sometimes I feel like I'm talking to air or something equally exciting.

My husband and I had a fight today, about my temper. Long story, but part of what came up was my masters and it reminded me of my doubts about getting that degree. There's no good reason for it except that I want it. But I'm scared to death of it. I'm afraid I won't be able to do it. I'm afraid i'll get bored of it. I know I won't make good use of it. It's dumb for me to spend all that money on it

and I've been taking an online class for medical transcription. Or I was until we moved. I stopped working on it so I could pack and them unpack. And we have no tv of any kind in our apartment until my husband starts working. So he's been watching stuff online. And seeing as we only have one computer, I'm not working on my transcription. My enrollment expires the first of next month. I can get an extension but we can't afford it right now. I have six months after my enrollment expires to buy an extension so I'll do that as soon as I can. And I'll just focus in that instead of a masters.

The questionis how to convince my husband that I'm not getting a masters.

Today the next step toward my husband getting back to work was unexpectedly completed. It was a pleasant surprise since we weren't expecting it for at least another couple weeks. At lunch, we talked about what I wanted - to not work at this job anymore and preferably to not work outside the house at all. I still plan on doing medical transcription but likely just part time. I asked him what a time frame for that would be and he guessed a year.

Then he reminded me about my masters. I had considered doing a masters but it was put off. I've kinda thought against doing it, but he keeps pushing me. I think partly he doesn't want me to regret not doing it later and I think part is that now that he has one, he wants me to have one. I hope he doesn't use that same reasoning when he goes for his doctorate because I don't want that. LOL.

So I think the plan is we both work our butts off for a year, and then I'll start working on my masters. I'm hoping that we will have good savings and a lot of debt paid off by then and I can quit working where I'm at, if I've not gone to fulltime transcription by then and probably then he will also start the short program he wants to do.

That's the plan, but we will have to see what our finances allow and where God leads.